Date someone you want to bang
I can’t believe I just wrote that as the title for this post but I’m sure it caught your attention, so yes, IT WORKED! *pats self on the shoulder*
For those of you who know me or have met me, will know that I’m a hopeless romantic. For those of you who don’t, well, you’re about to find out.
Being in the ‘single ladies’ category for some time now does have its perks. I get to do everything at my own pace, whenever I want and don’t have to answer to nobody. I love it. But in all honestly, there are days when it’s 3am and all I can think about is if whether I’m entitled to be someone’s last phone call before they close their eyes and sleep. Or worst yet, when you already know the answer is ‘No’ but fall asleep hoping to get just a text, from somebody. Anybody.
As of late, recent conversations and shared stories have struck a chord in my heart and got me thinking about stuff – I know I should be studying and all I’m supposed to think about are the formalities required for a land to be registered or the factors of a void and voidable marriage but I can’t help myself. Heh.
So this post is for all the guys out there who sometimes need someone to knock some senses into them. I mean, dudes, you just gotta be told sometimes. And ladies, I know you’ll feel me.
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Let me first rephrase my title:
Date someone you don’t only want to bang. Enjoy her company; let her mess up your mind (and not only your bed sheets) with thought-provoking questions and enjoy good long conversations with her as you both find comfort in each other’s presence. You got to fall in love with her mind, day by day, with every twisted thought.
Allow yourselves to find common ground, where you both can meet in the middle with your similarities. Even if there aren’t any, embrace your differences. Find out the things she likes and dislikes and tease her for all the things she’s terrified of.
Date someone you don’t only want to bang. Fall in ‘like’ with someone you like hanging out with. Someone who can make you laugh until you’re a silly mess, even when you’re kissing her in-between crumpled bed sheets with intertwined limbs. Someone who doesn’t let you take everything in life so seriously.
Be honest, be true and be bare. You may have insecurities, so does she. But if she’s willing to let your fingers trace her imperfections and lets you see the side of her she doesn’t show anyone, you can let your guard down with her as well. Let her kiss that ugly scar you have below your rib cage or that tummy you have from all the fried chicken you have been eating. Let her accept you just as you are.
Date someone you don’t only want to bang. When you look at her, really look at her. You may have just met her or may have known her for the longest time, but look at her the way you would your sister or mum. Look at her with respect, whether she deserves it or not is not up to you. But look at her the way a real gentleman would.
Instead of body-shaming her and pin-pointing her insecurities, compliment her mind. Compliment her cute button nose or the way she laughs from all the jokes you tell her. Other men may be assholes, but that doesn’t mean you have to be one too.
Date someone who encourages you to be a better version of yourself – someone who takes the time to help you out even when your ego can’t stand it, someone who makes time for you despite her busy schedule. Someone who doesn’t mind repeating the answer for a question you asked just 5 mins ago; someone who says it as it is – making sure you know the truth instead of believing in a lie.
Fall in love with someone you like kissing, someone you enjoy laughing with and having around. Yes, the physical touch may be important but one can never get too many kisses and have too many laughs. Those are priceless.
Fall in like, fall in love – whatever. As long as you both let the concrete boulders around your hearts be destroyed.
Because at the end of the day, if all you want to do is bang her, then I feel sorry for you. She could have been your ‘good morning’ texts and ‘good night’ phone-calls. She could have been your 3am kisses and stomach-hurting laughs. She could have been the conversation you have with your buddies, with your eyes in awe just by the sound of her name. She could have been the comfort you come home to after a bad day or the rain that washes away your sorrows. She could have been home.
But all you wanted to do was bang her. And you threw it all away.
Love, Krissy xx