Moments
(Photos taken during a night out at Trec KL)
I vow to 'capture and/or witness moments that take my breath away'.
I made a mental note of this when I was thinking of resolutions to set at the beginning of this new year.
It may come as a surprise to many but I've always been a home-body. I relish in moments when I get to just stay at home and fill the hours in a day with things I like to do (sleeping, included) at my own pace. I could just lay in bed, watching as the sun burns bright in the sky until when the skies change colour from hues of blue to pink, swallowing the sun whole; enjoying my own company, be it with a good read or an entertaining movie. Nights went on like that too instead of going out into the city and dancing the night away without remembering anything the next morning.
But as of late, I've been yearning for more. I'm yearning to explore, discover and just put myself out there - doing things the usual, boring Kristen would never do - because as much as I enjoy my daily routine, I've started asking myself, "Is this all?". I've been at a tug of war with myself because I never want to settle for a 'Yes, that's all it's ever going to be.' I hate the thought of it and hate is a big word.
I want to do things that make me feel alive. So excuse me if I want to know what it's like to go out for Ladies Night, dance with handsome strangers and come home a little tipsy; if I want to order a proper breakfast at a nice cozy cafe and enjoy it on my own; if I want to talk to someone I met online in the most random of ways and actually meet them over a cup of coffee, without fearing how bad it could actually go. I want to not be so friggin' afraid to fall, to let go, to love.
Because after all these years, I've become a big believer in the magic happiness can do. And I think I deserve to want it for myself - to love, to be happy - if it's not too much to ask.
Love always, K.